Mummy Jembelina

Boo!

2011-10-31T17:28:00.000+11:00

We started a new tradition this weekend. I don't care if Halloween isn't a typically Australian holiday. We bought a pumpkin(the smallest one I could find, to save the hip pocket!). We carved a pumpkin.

I made jack-o-lantern biccies and chocolate spiders and marshmallow eyeballs. The kids are dressed up in costumes of their choice. Snuggled on the floor in the loungeroom. Watching telly by candlelight. A monster even delivered some funky green milk while Zack was at school!(incase you're wondering....adding all natural green food colouring to milk results in some interesting tasting milk....kids didn't seem to notice though!) I love that I have the ability to do this for my kids. Create memories. Start traditions.

And I can't very well write this post without crediting a pretty cool woman....Kelle Hampton of Enjoying the Small Things is the queen of traditions and memory creating and doing fun stuff with her kids. And while I have been doing so without really realising since my first little person came into the world, Kelle has made me aware. Made me think about what we do as a family. Made me realise it is me. I am resposible for making sure my kids can laugh and remember their childhood with fondness and fun. And hopefully instill in them the passion to create memories for their own families when that day comes.

Far out, being a mum rocks.

Random....

2011-10-28T12:19:00.001+11:00

So, Blogtoberfest didn't end up keeping me quite as honest as I'd hoped! I certainly have not been blogging daily. But I have been thinking about blogging daily....does that count??
Anyway, nothing like a good catch up post full of random bits from my last couple of weeks to get me back on track!

We love to walk to our local park to feed the ducks....

Playdough lollipops and wearing your bathers over your clothes.....dosn't get much better than that!

Miss Evie is sooooo excited by the Christmas decorations adorning our local shopping centre (already!)....so we went browsing in the Christmas section just for fun.....Mummy can't wait!!!

Local library kills afternoon boredom/whingeing/tired tantrums. Yay for the library.

Miss Evie is a little bit in love with rainbows at the moment.....which equates to anything striped or multicoloured.....

Love a good freebie.....Eltham Miniature Railway had free rides for a day during Children's week....Toot, toot!

I believe we have a caterpillar....Evie and I stayed at kinder for some fun and games.....I barely see Evie when we are there, she just loves it!!

Crafty times at home, Zack having a sick day...

Our family....through the eyes of my five year old......

Happy Weekend :)

What's not to love??

2011-10-07T21:49:00.000+11:00

Even after she's just had the mother of all tantrums.....she still oozes cute. Love you Miss Evie, even when you don't like me!

Just Us.

2011-10-06T00:06:00.001+11:00

When Evie was diagnosed, Leigh had just turned three. Zack was four and a half. Scott was working full time as a shopfitter. I stayed at home with the kids. Which I loved. But as all us mothers know, it's a bloody tough gig and often far from perfect. I did my fair share of complaining. Of wishing I could have a break. Of wishing for just five minutes peace! But from that god awful day onwards that precious time with my little children was taken away. Of course I was still a stay at home mum in theory. But rather than actually being at home as I should have been, I was in hospital. And Daddy was at home.

Scott stopped work and took over home life. Took over care of the boys while I was in hospital. He has done an incredible job. He has stepped up to the plate and done the job even he admits he's not really cut out for.

And the boys....wow, they have adapted amazingly. Rarely, if ever, complaining about me being away from home. Coping so well with me not being there to tuck them in at night. With spending their days travelling to and from the hospital, waiting, eating too much McDonalds, watching too much tv. With having a their little worlds revolve entirely around their baby sister. They have never showed any resentment or jealousy. Just love. They to are brave and strong just like their little sister.
Nevertheless, despite all this........I miss it. And I feel like I missed it. I can't get those two years back. I know I didn't lose them exactly. I was there. But far from in the capacity I wish I could have been. I was so happy playing house, you know? Cutting sandwiches into quarters. Building cubbyhouses out of blankets. Watching them play...all day long. Breaking up fights. Kissing tears away. Reading stories. Mum stuff. Nurturing. Growing them, like only a Mummy can.

I think about it alot. It makes me incredibly sad. It probably seems silly. I am so grateful for what I do have. But I look at my boys when they sleep and they seem so big to me now.....where did all that time go? Zack is at school this year and that little boy part of him is starting to go. I can see him growing up. I can't go back, but sometimes I so want to.

The reason I'm thinking about this, tonight in particular, is that Scott has started at Uni this semester...just one subject. But that equals two days....two days of just me and the kids. Me, doing things the way I like to do them. The day flowing the way I want it to. Taking the kids lead, not conferring with another adult first. It's how I like my days. It's how they used to be. It's almost as if the kids and I refuel on those days. We just work well together. We haven't lost it at all.

Reality check....

2011-10-04T22:40:00.000+11:00

My life is not the normal I once imagined it would be. It seems normal. I do plenty of normal stuff. I went grocery shopping just this morning in fact. I even cooked dinner tonight and hung a load of washing on the line.
But four nights a week I give my baby girl chemo. It's not like giving her chemo is the only time I think about this cross of mine. I bear it every minute of every day. I can look beyond it though. My life, her life is about so much more than just this. There is no way I will ever let cancer define our lives....and I hope Miss Evie never lets it define hers.

So the giving of chemo is kinda just part of our weekly to do list, no big deal in itself. But sometimes, like tonight.....I walk past the kitchen bench and see it sitting there waiting to be given. And it takes me somewhere. Somewhere where I think about stuff. Where cancer is my whole existence. Thankfully, I'm only there for a little while....just long enough to acknowledge. To accept. To move on.

Makes Me Happy

2011-10-03T21:25:00.000+11:00

Our little school community makes me happy. Parents, kids andf teachers coming together on the school holidays to move our kids into their new classroom.....

My super strong hubby makes me happy....hehehe, not many Daddies there today...the kids were very impressed with his super strength...and he just happened to be wearing a superman tshirt. Too funny.

Women coming together make me happy. Serious discussions about furniture arrangement....

My brave independent girl makes me happy.....

School bubblers make everyone happy....and bring back happy memories....

The ability for my hubby to have fun makes me happy....and him wanting me to take the photo makes me happy!

Taking little people to the library makes me happy.

The fact the library had the good sense to have some games set up during the school holidays made me happy...

And excuse me, but this sight in the middle of the library....completely made my day!! My middle baby still being so little and in his own little world for a moment makes me incredibly happy....

Happy, happy, happy :)

Sunday Sleep In....

2011-10-03T00:03:00.002+11:00

I'm still pinching myself.....I didn't set foot out of bed until sometime around 10am this morning! This just does not happen in our house. Ever. 7am is a lie in around here. 7am, complete with little people jumping on me, pulling covers off me, moaning that if they don't get breakfast NOW they might shrivel up right then and there. Not today. I vaguely recall hearing the boys get up. I distinctly recall Evie climbing out with my iphone. As far as Sundays go? Today was pretty perfect.

Week One Wrap Up....

2011-10-01T22:04:00.000+10:00

School holidays....one week down, one to go! This week has been so relaxed....no big plans, no pressure....lots of hanging around home, a trip or two to the shops....and no rushing in the morning to get everyone out the door - and that is the very best bit!! Zack is totally lapping up every minute...pretty much living in his pyjamas the whole week! Leigh on the other hand keeps asking when kinder starts again, poor thing!

Letting of steam at a local park before dinner time....Miss Evie wet her pants...and couldn't have cared less!!

Blue skies at Harbour Town aboard the Queenscliff Ferry which was docked there for the day...

Random giant T Rex at harbourtown...odd....kids thought it was pretty cool though!

Last but not least....some random Grand Final day iphone shots. We had a couple of good friends over to watch the game....which, although the game was on we hardly watched it! Zack was loving it though and ran in with a score update every time a goal was kicked or point was scored! Was quite cute to see him so enthralled by the game. We are not much of a footy family at all, we really only watch the final and that's it...this was the first time he had any idea what was actually going on! I'm thinking we might be roped into Aus Kick this year!

And without jinxing myself...I'd like to add that Miss Evie seems to be doing exceptionally well lately and by some miracle we have avoided hospital these holidays so far!
Bring on week two!! Oh, and a touch more sunshine and a little less rain would be nice Mr. Weather Man....please.

Blogtoberfest!!

2011-09-30T20:56:00.001+10:00

I am taking the Blogtoberfest challenge! Each day, for the month of October I will blog....yep, every single day. That, my friends is the challenge! My poor little old blog is so neglected these days...this is just the motivation I need to get it back on track!

Book Parade Day!

2011-08-18T22:29:00.000+10:00

We had a lovely morning celebrating Book Week at Zack's school. Was so gorgeous seeing how excited all the little ones were to be dressed up at school! I'm sure the teachers had their hands full today! The classroom was just a tiny bit chaotic when we left!
Zack chose to dress up as Peter Pan....and what a spunky little Peter Pan he made too! Costume all hand made by Mummy of course! While I wish I could keep him this big forever, just like Peter Pan, I too enjoy watching him grow and learn every day.

Was great to see the teachers in on the action too.....Zack's teacher Meg as Little Red Riding hood and School Principal Merron as The Mad Hatter.

Hello sunshine, where are you?

2011-08-14T21:08:00.000+10:00

We are in desperate need of some warm weather I believe! Everyone in the family seems to have been sick with some bug or another for what feels like months! Yuck.
And Miss Evie wound up in hospital for yet another month long stay. Which is why my poor little blog has been slightly abandoned lately! So here is the last month in pictures, since I am way too tired to put together much else tonight!

Girl's Got Style...

2011-06-24T20:25:00.000+10:00

Oh how she loves to accessorise! Thankfully it is more often than not, short lived and she can generally be convinced to wear coats and gumboots when we venture out into the cold Melbourne Winter! In the meantime, inside with the heater on.....it's damn cute!

It's hard work being so utterly adorable....

No fever, please!

2011-06-09T11:49:00.002+10:00

For those who don't know......if Miss Evie gets a fever(even a mild one) we ship off to the emergency room at RCH and generally end up on an antibiotic drip....her immune system is shot thanks to the chemo. And we have come to sense when a fever is coming. Sometimes we are suprised, but usually we know. She gets clingy. She wants the boob constantly. She looks worn out.

These last couple of weeks tonsilitis has come to visit....and by some miracle left without touching Miss Evie or Daddy. Until yesterday....Daddy and I woke up with the tell tale killer sore throat...more antibiotics. Awesome. Miss Evie has a runny nose. She slept on my boob last night. All night. She looks worn out. Again, awesome.

She is sleeping now with a cool forehead. My hand will reach to touch it frequently till this passes or I feel heat. I hope and cross my fingers tightly that this passes without incident. I had plans for a cozy weekend, filled with board games and baking so given our luck lately.....that probably means I will be bundling Miss into the car sometime in the early hours of Saturday morning.

Send us your positive vibes please for a fever free weekend!

Wordless Wednesday....

2011-06-08T12:10:00.005+10:00

Well, hello there!

2011-05-28T20:50:00.003+10:00

Yes, I am still in the land of the living.....just!! Nah, have had a pretty rocky start to the year.....I say that as we approach the halfway point! I was going to come along and give a big long winded explanation....but decided against it. Long story short, Evie was hospitalised for a month, still unwell for another month after that, we've moved house, and had a lovely little family drama added into the mix. Somehow I have come out the other side relatively unscathed..........and ready to get right back into blogging, taking loads of photos, knitting......oh and baking. I have the baking bug baaaad!
So, no photos tonight.....but next time you visit come prepared with a cuppa (or a wine, whatever takes your fancy) as I hope to bring some lovely tales of my family life, piccies of my beautiful children, perhaps a favourite recipe, hopefully some scrummy op shop finds..........possibly not all at once, but I'll get there!
Thanks for sticking around, and here's to much less stressful second half of the year!
I'm back. Yay.

the every day

2011-01-06T23:04:00.005+11:00

Just a little post about nothing in particular. A bit of this and that from the last couple of days around my place. Just everyday days.

A sweet little pressie taken to my Mother In Law at work on her birthday....and my first shot at making cake pops...yum! will going there again!Spontaneous sibling love....The cutest little shoes ever.....spotted in Kmart for $6...Daddy and the baby girl...my god, they adore each other so much...And look what I had hanging on my clothesline today.....school uniforms for my big boy....I am so excited for him....I am so in love with everyday nothingness at the moment. Makes me feel real. Makes me feel alive. Makes me feel like I'm not missing out on a minute of my babies while they are still babies!

Evie's story. My story. Our story.

2011-01-05T22:25:00.003+11:00

This is something I have been wanting to do for a long time. It is a hard thing to do and I'm not sure how ready I am. Regardless, tonight is the night I felt inspired to start....I invite you to read along and travel this difficult road with me and thank you for taking the time to do so. ANd for those who are new to my blog, this story I am beginning tonight...this is the story of my darling baby girl and how the word cancer has become a reality in our family.

How am I supposed to start this story? I have no clue. Because the reality is, I still can’t quite fathom that the story belongs to me. To my child. To my family. I wonder, will it always feel this way? Will it forever be so raw? I think I want it to be. I cannot relive the memories of that very first day without feeling like I am right back there. Without feeling my heart in my throat. For that very reason, I rarely allow myself to go there. But when I do……it is completely and utterly gut wrenching…….when I do, I want it to be that real. It is a terrible reality, but how can I let it fade? I can’t. It is my reality whether I like it or not. I don’t want it. But I’ve got it. It’s mine. And it will forever live in the treasure box in my heart. And I will open it when my heart can handle it.

vintage sheets love....

2011-01-05T07:41:00.014+11:00

I love to op shop. Usually I buy clothes for the kids, which I love to do and find some awesome stuff. But lately I have found myself scouring the linen section. I never normally bother or remember to take photos of my finds. But I am loving these vintage sheets I have found recently, so here they are.......This one is a bedspread and it's huge!....how cool is it? I am hoping to chop it in half and make the boys a blanket each to snuggle under on the couch in winter.

Oh, and this cute little dish...probably made in china and not vintage at all, but I couldn't resist it!

I have no idea if these sheets are vintage or not.....but I had them on my bed when I was little so the nostalgia won out and I grabbed them.....think they would make pretty cool shorts for the boys...
hmmmm....now to dust off the sewing machine and have some fun with them all!

Did you know Candy Buffets are the new black??

2010-12-31T09:19:00.008+11:00

Well, they are apparently and just quietly, I love them.
For those who don't know, Miss Evie arrived into this world two years ago in the wee hours Christmas morning....which, apart from being the best Chrissy present ever....means just a tiny bit more effort gets put into the logistics of our Christmas!

This year we were away from the humdrum of the silly season, taking a well deserved week of beachside goodness. So our Christmas was quiet, relaxed, simple. As was Miss Evie's birthday...store bought ice cream cake presented to the tune of 'Happy Birthday' sung by her four favourite people in the world. What more does a little girl need really?!

A pretty, girly, pink, Candy Buffet. We invited close friends and family for a belated, relaxed Christmas lunch, followed by 'Miss Evie's Candy Buffet'. And, even if I do say so myself....it looked gorgeous! As did the guest of honour.....Happy Birthday my beautiful, funny, clever, brave, two year old. I love you Miss Evie...to the moon and back baby girl.

Do you know Retro Mummy?

2010-12-19T16:50:00.004+11:00

Well, if not, now is the time to pop on over to Corrie's lovely blog(by clicking the image below)....just in time for a very generous and oh-so-pretty GIVEAWAY.....
Up for grabs is 20...yes, twenty fat quarters from this gorgeous Flower Sugar range from Lecien...2 winners will be drawn on New Years Eve! Just imagine the wonderful things you could create with such beautiful fabric!

mmmm, yum....

2010-12-16T20:27:00.003+11:00

I had big plans for Christmas baking. I'm going to blame Evie being hospitalised twice in two weeks for my slackness. Oh, and the fact that everytime I try to do anything vaguely enjoyable Miss Evie runs to me, arms up in the air......"boo-bee, boo-bee, boo-bee, boo-bee" and she does not let up till I plonk on the couch and let her have said boo-bee.
Somehow, today I managed to whip up a little something. Honestly I don't know what she was doing while I baked. If she's playing happily I don't interrupt. Often I don't even look. If she catches my eye, it's all over!
So here it is....White Chocolate and Gingerbread Slice....doesn't look anything flash....looks can be deceiving, it is very, very moreish. Yum...as you can see by how much is missing since I cut it up half and hour ago....

Shhhhh.....

2010-12-12T21:25:00.005+11:00

As I type this, Miss Evie is asleep....in her own little bed, in her own little room.

She has slept with us since she was born. And I wouldn't have it any other way. The cot (minus it's side) has been home to a great number of soft toys, folded quilts and dolls. To the point where she didn't even recognise it as a bed! So, a couple of days ago I bought some new linen.

Well, she was beside herself with happiness when she saw me making her bed up! She hopped in and out, pulling the covers up and shhhh-ing...it was very cute!

I have no probelm with her sleeping in our bed, but I wanted her to know there was a bed in her room if she wanted to use it. And tonight at bedtime, she took me in there by the hand shhhh-ing....asking to sleep there. There was a minor showdown when I closed the blinds and she realised this was for real, but she still chose her bed over Mummy's.....

So long as Mummy still layed down to breastfeed her to sleep. So there I lay, curled up on the very edge of her cot, hoping like mad that it wouldn't go crashing down to the floor with my weight! Thankfully she drifted off quickly and has been sound asleep since. It will be interesting to see what happens overnight!

I will be a little sad if this is it for sleeping with me!
And excuse me....but look at all that beautiful hair!

Carols by Candlelight...

2010-12-11T23:07:00.004+11:00

When we headed into emergency on Thursday evening I quietly resigned myself to the fact that we would not be going to our local Carols by Candelight. And was very relieved I had decided not to tell the boys about it incase of really bad weather.
But I think Santa must be looking out for us this year. We got home from hospital sometime after lunch. The evening was mild and only threatened rain. So....we packed our picnic blankets, grabbed some munchies from the pantry, called in our fish and chip order and off we went.....
Zack totally rocked it by the way....

Ohhhhhh....

2010-12-09T09:36:00.006+11:00

One of my absolute favourite Christmas traditions....the Myer Christmas Windows. The theme this year was The Nutcracker....and they most certainly did not disapoint! They were just gorgeous. I loved it, the kids loved it. We loved it! Thankfully we beat the crowds and the rain!
And a big thank you to hubby dearest for taking some lovely shots of me with the kids....doesn't happen often!

And the tree went up....

2010-12-06T22:30:00.005+11:00

....as is tradition, on the 1st of December. I just haven't blogged about it 'till now. And well, it looks like magic. The lights stayed turned on for two days straight and I'm not ashamed to admit it. We even have a little train chugging around the bottom...which, I might add, is a nightmare for vacuuming. Meh, I might just not vacuum 'till the tree comes down.

Miss Evie has found herself a lovely little tree gazing nook.....

Stockings went up too....and one came straight back down! One little girl could not quite bear to part with her singing reindeer.... only the classiest of classy stockings will do for my daughter you know.

And well....just because she's divine.....

Rain...

2010-12-02T22:53:00.005+11:00

The humidity was hanging thick in the air today. Then it hit. The rain. And it was heavy. Complete with thunder....perfectly balanced between deep rumblings in the distance and fierce claps that make grown ups jump and little ones hug your leg. I truly love a good storm. Everyone in our family knows that unless the back fence is soaked I'm not satisfied. Unless you need to turn lights on in the middle of the day it's not really a storm. Today was perfect. So I planted myself at our front doorstep with the camera and sent the boys out to play in it....
I don't know exactly what it is about kids playing in the rain....freedom maybe? But it is pure joy to watch. I hope they never grow up so much that they can no longer find fun in such simple things. I hope they don't loose that.

Christmas is a comin'

2010-11-30T22:44:00.003+11:00

I'm just sayin. Cos this blog is gonna be smooshed full of christmassy goodness.....

This one will be picture-less...

2010-11-11T22:06:00.004+11:00

....since uploading photos is pretty well impossible when my dear husband is palying online games. Yep, I'm living with a fully grown teenage boy. Lucky me.
So, since I have been absent for a week or two, thought I'd jot down a few words. Keep it flowin'. And, if I'm honest, there's a particular post I truly want to write, but am kind of avoiding. It has to do with Little Miss...who had her central line removed last week. Which is fantastic. Really it is wonderful. But it makes me think...alot. About stuff I'd rather not be thinking about all the time. And I can't write a blog post about it and just flit over the details in my mind. And I think if I let it, it would possibly all pour out right now. But I'm not ready. The thinking and the reliving is hard enough without putting it down in words. So, I'll save that for another day.
Instead, I'll go all light and lovely on you and share the little things that make me smile.....
warm days and summer clothes....new little words finding their way out of a sweet little girls mouth.....the pending excitement of a little boy starting school next year.....successful sewing.....dress-up party prep.....taking up where we left off with old friends....oh and so much more. But here I will leave it for tonight.
Have a lovely weekend. Call an old friend. Hold your littles(or bigs!) tight. Do something just for you xxx

I heart Camberwell markets....

2010-10-26T14:46:00.007+11:00

I love to buy second hand stuff. I love to op shop. And I love Camberwell markets. Did I say love? Yep, LOVE 'em. Completely my favourite market of all time. If I'm honest, the real reason I love Camberwell markets so very much....childhood. They are one of my fondest childhood memories. Who knows why. Nothing ever especially eventfull or memorable happened about them. Well, unless you count the time I locked myself inside the public toilet cubicle and my darling little Mummy had to scale the wall to get me out. Or did she shimmy under the door? I can't quite remember. I'm sure she will come along at some point and clarify for us!
Anyway, the point is I love going there. I love the memories, I love the atmosphere. And of course I love, love, love the funky little flea markety finds. Sadly, I manage to actually get there far less regularly than I would like. Husbands, well mine anyway, don't seem to have a very sound understanding of what happens at a flea market. The browsing, the rummaging, the chatting, the frequent stopping, the back pedalling, the umming and ahhing......oh and the need for him to run to the ATM for me when I run out of cash! So infrequently we go....which actually might make each visit that much more meaningful.
So, Sunday morning arrives and the weather is perfect. So Camberwell markets it is. Joy. and my favourite find is actually not flea markety at all, not second hand at all. But beautiful, beautiful wool. Just three cute little balls...of locally spun, hand dyed in the most stunning colours, ridiculously soft ausstralian merino wool. Bought direct from the maker herself. Love.
And here is a little taste.....a new little creation...this one for Miss Evie, my rather uncooperative model!.....with hopefully more to come to Jembelina Knits, my little madeit store....

One proud Mumma...

2010-10-19T20:42:00.004+11:00

Zack started cricket today. Just an hour a week over Summer. Just basic ball skills and a bit of fun. And he didn't do anything spectacular out there today. Aside, of course, from just being himself. He threw himself into every minute of it with all his might. And of that, of him being his beautiful little self, I was proud. So very proud. He is such a beautiful boy. Growing up fast. Growing up in the not needing to hold my leg in new situations kind of way.
Watching him join all those kids he has never laid eyes on before. Listening to the coaches and following instructions without a backward glance. Lining up for a sausage in bread all by himself. Running down to the oval and joining a circle of little boys to look at ants. All that made me proud. Proud of him and a little bit proud of me...I like to think I helped him get there. Watching his confidence grow and grow and grow is an amazing thing. I hope it never leaves him. I hope he has the grounding to always hold his head high and be confident in the person he is.
Oh, and don't get me wrong....I was proud as punch watching him practice batting and bowling! It's just a different kind of proud. Makes your chest swell, but doesn't tug on your heartstrings in quite he same way.
And with proud comes my camera! I was the only Mumma there with my camera. Switching lenses so I could see him up close. Click, click, clicking away. And I'm glad. I love, really love, capturing every minute. He'll be going to cricket every week. But he'll never be going for the first time again. And I bet when he's all grown up, I wont remember his little face on that first day of cricket....well I will now, cos I was the clever Mumma with the camera click, click, clicking away!

Four...

2010-10-11T13:00:00.001+11:00

Four years old. Seriously? Who? When? My son you say? Nah, couldn't be. I just brought him home from hospital a couple of days ago. Didn't I? No?
Geez, time truly flies by when you have little people in your life. Like really flies by. People tell you, when you have this tiny little cherubic newborn cradled in your arms, how fast they grow up. How you should cherish every second. They'll be all grown up before you know it. And you smile and you laugh and you say you know, I will.
And then you turn around and wham.....it's happened, just like they said it would, right before your very eyes. Your little baby is not so much a baby anymore.
But of course, us Mothers know.....they'll always be our babies. Always be our babies.
And really, I shouldn't be complaining. Four is hardly grown up. Four is still all cute and cuddly. Four still cies for a Mummy Cuddle when he is hurt or scared or just 'cos. Four doesn't bring his dirty washing home on the weekend. But boy does Four have a lot of dirty washing!
Many Mummas are watching their babies do much more grown up stuff. Their babies are having their own babies. Their babies are going to war. Their babies are finding cures. Their babies keep them awake till 4am when they finally hear their key in the door.
But my baby....my perfect middle baby...is turning Four. And I am ever so grateful that I have many, many years to come watching my baby grow and learn and just be. Just be the amazing person he was made to be. The little person who, every single day, makes us laugh. 'Cos he is crazy, crazy, crazy, this kid and I love him to bits.....

Oh Miss Evie....you so cute!

2010-10-09T21:49:00.006+11:00

Goodbye Winter....

2010-10-04T20:29:00.005+11:00

Ok, so I know Winter is a month behind us. But, I'm in Melbourne and it is completely normal for Winter to stay way past it's use by date and then continue to drop in unannounced every so often.
Today the boys wore shorts and t-shirts. Today we had a bbq for lunch. Today the washing came in off the line dry. Today I drove with the window down. Today we opened up every window in the house.
Today, it felt a little bit like Summer. So, here I am saying goodbye to Winter. I'm ready to pack dressing gowns and slippers away. I'm not even going to get all sentimental about hot chocolates and cozy evening under a blanket. Nuh-uh. Not me. Bring on the sunshine.
But before we do....I'll just share one of my fave winter warmers. True comfort food. Old fashioned bread and butter pudding. Simple. Sweet.

Take four slices of stale white bread, jam, butter, eggs, milk and sugar.
Grease your baking dish.
Spread bread, all the way to the edges, with butter and a generous lashing of jam. Cut into quarters and arrange in your baking dish. Lick your sticky fingers.
Whisk, just with a fork is fine, 500ml milk, 2 eggs and 2 dessertspoons of castor sugar. Pour over bread.
Bake at 180 for about half an hour. Check you have cream a plenty. If not, nick out and get some while your pud bakes. You'll need it.
Ummm, so I forgot to take a photo of it before we scoffed it.....

Hats, handbags and shoes.....

2010-09-30T22:25:00.004+10:00

are Miss Evie's 'must haves' at the moment. It totally cracks me up. She has always had a thing for shoes....since she could walk we have had to literally drag her away from shoe shop windows. Now that she has mastered the art of slipping her little feet into gumboots unaided, there is no stopping her! Thankfully she only owns three pairs of shoes!
And hats, my goodness! If she can't put it on herself, she will not wear it. The day this girl can dress herself is going to be trouble....and probably ridiculously cute.

Blast Off!

2010-09-20T20:24:00.005+10:00

I love watching my kids create. Sometimes I can't be bothered with the mess. Sometimes the mere thought of pulling out the craft box is all too much effort. But when we do....'tis fun! And it is my favourite way to curb Leigh's crazy. Yes, he goes crazy. Often. And it drives every one of us batty. 'Cos it can be downright annoying to have someone flapping their hands in your face saying "lalalalalalalala" at the top of their voice. So we do craft and the crazy subsides. For a little while.

My bestest tthing about doing craft with kids is the unknown. You never know where a couple of toilet rolls will take you....on this particular occasion, we went to the moon and back. With the help of a tissue box or two...we made rockets. And you know it is a good rocket, when it gets taken to kinder, marched up to the teacher, and held out...with the expectation that she will, of course, know exactly what is being held out before her and be blown away by the awesomeness of it. And send you home with enough supplies so you and your big brother can make 'people'....because what's a rocket without people to go inside??

The kid has attitude....

2010-09-18T19:15:00.003+10:00

My darling sweet little Zack-a-pea.....is ever so slightly less sweet and darling.....this 'look' is appearing with increasing frequency.
Making me wonder who came into my home in the middle of the night and popped a back-chatting 15 year old in the body of my little boy.
And when Daddy makes light of this face, what we get is "Don't mock me Daddy!"

I told you, attitude. And my kid has it. Lucky he is clever and funny and tells me he loves me the most.

Mummy and the Leigh-leigh...

2010-09-17T21:48:00.003+10:00

Thirty...

2010-08-31T20:48:00.003+10:00

So, last week I turned 30. The big three-oh.

I was going to write this a special, self-finding, inspirational post....but you know, I'm not gunna.

Instead I'm gunna tell you about the ridiculous amount of pressies I was showered with by my family and friends. The joy of all my littles climbing onto our bed as the sun was still rising to cover me with sloppy kisses and push handmade cards proudly in my face. The completely full feeling we walked out of the Pancake Parlour with at morning tea time! The fun of being pushed out of the house to pick up fish and chips for dinner so the boys could decorate(aka, put their party hats on and throw ballons madly around the house). Fresh flowers delivered to our door...tulips no less. Caramel Mudcake...warmed up on day two and drowned in runny cream. Dinner, out....you know in a restaruant...with well behaved children...and more cake.

Ok, so it's all about good food and pressies! I know it's about family and love and all that stuff. But I felt so spoiled this year anad I totally relished in it. Every bit of it. I don't get spoiled very often, nor do I expect to. Not at all. But this was really nice. Thank you....my man, my littles, my family, my friends. For making this one all about me!

Looking forward to this next decade and all the growing it will bring...

Sunshine = pretty dresses

2010-08-22T20:03:00.008+10:00

What a gorgeous day it was in our little neck of the woods yesterday! Blue skies all day. Heater off 'till bedtime. A window or two open. Washing on the line that actually dried. Yep, I feel Spring in the air.
Perfect timing for sweet little dresses for Miss Evie....I made this little one myself....Lizzy Pinny by Little Bird Patterns....made from scrap fabric I had stashed in the hall cupboard, waiting for the day I decided to try my hand at sewing. Apart from a dodgy nappy or two and a pillowcase made in Home Econmics, I am a complete sewing novice....so when I turned this in the right way, pressed and hemmed it and slipped it over the Little Lady's head...I was pretty pleased with myself!
For the first time in ages the kids went outside and actually stayed out there for longer than 20 minutes! They played happily in the brilliant sunshine all morning long....

Perfect way to spend our Sunday, especially after an unexpected stop over at the hospital on Thursday....only 36 hours or so this time....a record for us!And this one...well, just because he is such a little spunk....oh, and if you look closely you'll notice a bit of blood in his hair....for the second time he has come a cropper with the corner of our coffee table, thankfully this time we got through it without calling the ambos!

And it turns out that the rain they predicted is staying away and we are graced with blue as blue skies again today....makes for a very bearable Monday!

Recycling crayons...

2010-08-18T14:36:00.004+10:00

Starting yesterday, I have been giving my home a good once over. We have clutter galore and it has been slowly sending me batty. So I pulled out the big guns and actually said out loud...because you know if you say it out loud, you have to do it...."I'm going to clean this place up. Like really clean it up"
I started small, with the bathroom....which was a complete cop out really...virtually clutter free, I'm just not a cosmeticy/hairclippy/bathroomy clutter kinda gal. In my defense, an awul lot of scrubbing took place and now it sparkles in there....a little.
From one extreme to the other...today I am tackling the kitchen. Yes, it is 2.45pm and I am still going. Needless to say, the kitchen is home to an awful lot of our clutter. Well, that and I keep getting distracted and tackling other little spots here, there and everywhere.
Which, brings us to the purpose of this post....as I was clearing out the kids colouring drawers I came across a container full of crayons....mostly broken, grubby crayons that no one uses anymore. Rather than chuck them out I decided to have a go at melting them down and making newbies.....'twas easy as pie and Leigh thought it was just wonderful...

Pop all your broken pieces(you might need to cut some smaller) into an old muffin tin....

Fill about a third to a half full... Pop in oven( I had mine on about 160) for about 5-10 mins...keep an eye on them and take out as soon as they are melted....
Admire the swirled colours...stand on bench to cool a little then transfer to fridge to speed things up!
Once they are completely set turn them out onto a tea towel(so they don't break!) and once again admire your colourful creations...
Apparetnly they make great stacking blocks too...

And just incase you had forgotten about my three gorgeous littles, here they are watchin' telly together and munchin' on apples....love, love, love...especially those little stripey feet crossed at the ankles just so...

Lazy Sunday Madeit finds....

2010-08-15T11:01:00.003+10:00

What is the weather like in you neck of the woods?? Here, it is gloomy and wet and grey and miserable....what better way to brighten it up than a little search for sweet little birds in the wonderful handcrafted world of Madeit....

1...Wild Things of Noosa...Sandpiper Parade Bloomers
2...Tahlia Jane...Whimsical Vintage Style Bookmark
3...Kathy Panton...I Hear Two Birds picture book
4...Oh Deer...Love Birds on a Branch
5...Vintage Chenille...Capri the plush purple vintage chenille birdie rattle
6...Sweet William...Love Birds print
7...Always Invited...Stacked Birdy Notebook

Happy Shopping :)

Day out at the museum...

2010-08-14T21:48:00.006+10:00

This morning, on a whim, we decided to pack a cut lunch and head out to Melbourne Museum. Must be about 12 months since we were last there...and the difference in the boys is amazing. Leigh wanted to stop and look at everything...and everything was completely "Mummy look at this!" worthy. Zack showed a big interest in actually wanting to learn about things...asking lots of questions and listening to the answers. It is so special watching them experience things like this....incredible how much they soak up!

And we're off....
First stop, Dinosaurs...

Honeybees through a magnifying glass...

Leigh throughly engrossed in some lizards and snakes...

Crazy mirrors...fun...

As tall as four wombats!

Giant Lego...umm, where's Zack???

Quoits...back in my day, there was only one stick!

Impressively, Leigh balances five on his head!

Pigeons...highlight of Evie's day...

Tutus make for super cute photos......

2010-08-11T22:03:00.004+10:00

Please note......Evie hopped into the box of her own accord....we just took the photos!

Yet another catch up...

2010-08-07T13:24:00.008+10:00

So, there was supposed to be a little celebratory Evie has come to the end of intensive treatment blog post, a my baby boy has lost his first tooth blog post, etc, etc....but since Evie had us heading off to emergency with a fever two weeks ago...here we have yet another catch up post!

We did manage to get our little celebration in though! Just close friends and family gathering to celebrate our darling Miss Evie, who has been through so much this last 9 months. We are all looking forward to this next phase of treament being much gentler for her and whole lot easier on all of us.
We got the official go ahead yesterday and will get started on Tuesday. It will be long. I'm sure it wont be all peaches and cream. But it is what it is and we will suck every bit of goodness out of it we can...and you can be sure with Mss Evie around, there will be goodness a plenty! And while it will be easier...I will never stop worrying. I will never stop having those moments, where it suddenly hits me that my baby is fighting cancer. That it will be there, in the back of my mind for many years to come. As it stands, it will be a good 6 years before she is given the all clear. That's a bloody long time to hold your breath.
Thankfully, I have somewhat mastered the art of breath holding, laughing and living all at once....so lets do the living and laughing part, and push that nasty old 'c' word aside for a bit....'cos our little world is about so much more than just that.

My Monday Madeit finds....

2010-07-19T15:54:00.000+10:00

If you havn't didscovered it already, Madeit is the home of all things handmade. Gorgeous, clever craftiness all home grown in Australia. I dare you to go take a peek, I believe you will find yourself a treasure or two. Here are a few to get you started....

'Fashion doll complete outfit' by c percy designs

'Unique upcycled denim apron' by Cubbyhouse

'Vintage doily garland' by Pork Chop

'elephants go marching two by two' Reusable, eco friendly journal by timefortea.me

'Tea Time' Reusable fabric wall decals by Mae

Happy Shopping xxxx

P.S.....Don't forget to stop by my store, Jembelina Knits, while you're there!

Sunday

2010-07-18T16:18:00.001+10:00

You'd think with an extra adult at home, more would get done. Nope. We feel like we're living in a never-ending weekend and so we can get pretty slack. Lots of pyjama days happening around here in the last 8 months.
As a result Sunday ends up seeming much less Sunday-ish. Nothing Sunday about lazing around in your pj's till noon if you do it most other days. Then again, being Sunday means you don't need to feel guilty about having yet another lazy day.
So anyway, one day is much like the other around here....as was today.
I baked White Chocolate and Raspberry Scones, pottered, showered late, Evie and Daddy read books in bed, the nurse came to give Evie's chemo, the boys played/argued and watched more tv than I would like, Zack got ready for the party again. It was turning out to be pretty nice day.
The party was a great chance to have a decent chat to some kinder mums....rather than the rushed 'hi-bye' that happens at kinder drop offs and pick ups...thank you ladies for the good company!
Then I got a call from home.... "You have to come home now".....which was enough to make me panic, because Scott is a pretty calm person. Leigh had hit his head in the corner of our coffee table and there was a fair bit of blood. Thankfully, after the Ambos checked him over, it seemed he was fine....which he was sorely disappointed about....apparently he was all geared up for a trip to hospital with lights flashing and sirens blaring!
Evie slept through the whole ordeal, waking just in time to wave the ambulance good-bye....rather novel since she is usually the one riding in the back.

Now, about those scones....just in case you want to whip some up next Sunday....

You'll need...
3 cups SR flour
1 cup lemonade
1 cup cream
1 cup white chocolate, chopped
1 cup frozen raspberries, broken up(do so while frozen)

Sift flour, add chocolate and raspberries, combine.
Add cream and lemonade, mix gently but thoroughly to combine.
Tip dough onto floured bench and gently bring together....don't knead!
Place dough on oven tray and press to form a rough rectangle about 2cm thick.
Using a sharp, floured knife, cut the dough almost all the way through to make as many scones as you like, depending on how big or small you want them to be.
Bake for approximately 20-25 minutes on 200c.

Enjoy xxx.....warm with lashings of butter!

Oooops.....

2010-07-17T19:45:00.000+10:00

The first thing we did this morning.....at around 6am, before I'd even rubbed the sleep from my eyes....was get out our present wrapping supplies. We cut paper, tied ribbons and let Evie pull a ridiculously long piece of sticky tape out of the dispenser.....so the Lego set Zack had chosen for his kinder friend would get to the party looking pretty schmick.
Now this party, a superhero party, for which Zack would happily have also gotten dressed for at 6am, was after lunch. Being 5 and silly with excitement meant that I answered the inevitable "how long till the party now Mummy?" countless times, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, depending on how many other things I was doing at the time and how loud the other two darlings were being!

Party time was 1pm, so at quarter to, Zack gathers up the present and his handmade card, very careful not to loose any more glitter....and off we go.

Gotta love that fake smile!

We arrive and Zack shyly rings the doorbell.
Now here's the clincher. Here's when the mummy guilt(not to mention a truckload of embarrassment) kicks in. The party is tomorrow.
What kind of mother doesn't triple check the date on the invite?
I actually don't think I have ever seen this particular mix of emotions on my little boys face before. Without a doubt, disappointment is there. Something else was in the mix too...embarrassment maybe...or something similar. Whatever it was I didn't like it!
Of course, it's not the end of the world and we will go along tomorrow and I'm positive Zack will have a blast and I will laugh at myself with the other mothers.

Doesn't mean I didn't feel terrible. So I promised my big boy we would do something super fun this afternoon to make up for me being so silly! Ten Pin Bowling it was....and we an awesome fun time....bopped along to the bad music under the even worse disco lighting...consoled Leigh when he realised the balls were heavy, really heavy...slipped our feet into funny shoes...cheered ourselves on...Evie spent the entire time just toddling around....cleaning the bowling balls with baby wipes....

And the winner is...

Click, click, clickity, click...

2010-07-14T18:45:00.001+10:00

So yesterday we went shopping ....for a shiny new camera....oh, happy day! I am now the very proud new owner of a Canon digital SLR....did I mention it's shiny and new?? Needless to say, I have been rather snap-happy these last 24 hours! So, might I add, has Scott....he, who in the past, I have had to beg to pick up the camera so one day when I'm long gone the kids will know what I once looked like! I have a lot to learn yet, but can see myself having a ball doing it. Helps that I happen to have three stunning kids as my subjects.......here are some of my fave shots from today....

And to make a good day even better....my little op shop finds.....

So close I can taste it....

2010-07-13T20:44:00.001+10:00

Close that is, to the end of Miss Evie's intensive treatment. Now, to any outsider, or any insider too really, the treatment plan(and I use the term 'plan' very loosely, as nothing seems to go to plan in the world of cancer treatment) is bloody confusing. I am generally not in the habit of swearing on my blog( in real life, yes) but I couldn't think of a better way to put it. I'm not even going to try to go into the ins and outs of it all....I'd be here all night and believe me, it would most likely put you to sleep. Long story short, for the past eight and a half months our darling baby girl has been put through hell pretty much, with a very intensive treatment plan designed to quash the nasty that is Leukaemia.
And quashing it, it is! And, as I said, we are so very close to the end. We have in fact, precisely, ten days to go. Ten days.
There is every possibility that we will wake in the middle of the night to feel the burning forehead of our baby girl. That we will take her to emergency. That she will have to immediately start a course of IV antibiotics. That we will end up in hospital for days or more likely, weeks. That those ten days will end up on hold.
But in the meantime, while we wait with baited breath, I am damn well going to get excited. Joyous. About the fact that we are on our way to coming out the other side of this.
And I know we still have a long road ahead. And I know that because the intensive treatment is almost over, that doesn't mean treatment is over. It is far from over. Think chemo every day for the next 12-18 months. No, not finished. Just finished with the toughest part. Almost.
But anyway...joyous...is what I am going to be...for now.
Actually, every time I look at her sweet little face. She has the sweetest little face that you ever did see.

When I get home from hospital...

2010-07-05T19:14:00.001+10:00

There are a few little things I appreciate....

... sleeping under a doona
...homey smells
...being able to go to the loo, make myself a cuppa or something to eat, without having to buzz a nurse to watch Evie first
...privacy
...quiet and darkness at night
...food of my own choosing - eaten from a china plate
...not wearing thongs in the shower
...temperature control

Ahhhhh, it is so good to be home!!!

Catch up....

2010-07-04T19:58:00.000+10:00

Ok, so blogging isn't my strong point at the moment! I keep getting sidetracked. Oh, and ending up in hospital with Little Miss. But honestly, it's more to do with me getting sidetracked! So here's yet another catch up post with lots of photos of the littlies! ANd for the record I do love and adore all my kids equally, Evie just seems to be stealing the photo limelight at the moment....seems to happen when your one-and-a-half!My babies make me so happy!! I will be busy soaking them up with a bit of knitting on the side....

Someone has to have the cutest baby in the world....

2010-06-22T19:33:00.001+10:00

It might as well be me!
Here is Miss Evie sporting her Kmart pj's(at 2 o'clock in the afternoon), Bonds singletsuit - undone and untucked - and big brother's Bombers beanie....love, love, love you Little Miss!!

Much Love Monday...

2010-06-21T21:03:00.000+10:00

...is all about taking a moment to focus on all the little things that all too often get lost in the humdrum of life.
Do you have a blog of your own? I would love you to create your own 'Much Love Monday' post and leave a link in my comments....and get your readers to do the same! Share the love and help banish Monday-itis!
And if you're not a crazy blogger like me, leave a comment and tell me....what's to love in your life today???

Today I am loving....

...hot chocolate with whipped cream
...discovering Zack's two bottom teeth are wobbly!
... laughing at myself when I tried on every beanie in the shop today, trying in vain to find one that suited me....nope, I'm clearly not a beanie girl.
...winter
...watching Miss Evie potter around the house chatting away to herself
...that I have fresh flowers in my living room

Happy Monday :)

A quick update in pictures...

2010-06-19T23:26:00.000+10:00

'Cos I have been such a slack blogger lately!

So, first off, Miss Evie's Beaded Journey....which, if you don't know, is a string of beads that represents her journey through cancer treatment. I did a quick count tonight....74 finger pricks, 25 blood/platelet transfusions, 10 trips to emergency, 12 hospital admissions, 12 lumbar puncture/bone marrow biopsies, 71 doses of chemotherapy...just to name a few...in the last 8 months. What a brave Little Miss I have.We have been pretty lucky with this round of treatment. It has been long and drawn out...but...Evie has been pretty well throughout it all. Which means a much happier baby and much less time spent in hospital! Yay. Winter has gotten off to a pretty nice start...

I have managed to get a pretty little collection of plants...including a tub of lettuce chosen by Zack so he can have a never ending supply for his daily 'cheese, lettuce and mayo sandwich'... on my front porch before the big chill really arrived. It has come to my attention, since gardening in winter, that I am somewhat more excited about the discovery of mushrooms(or toadstools??) in our yard than the kids are...And of course I have been busy knit, knit, knitting! Not to mention selling. It is a nerve wracking thing to put yourself and your handmade wares out there. But out there they are and people...you know, other people...not just my Mum(who loves everything I do cos that's her job!) like them. I'm just a teensy bit proud.
So thank you to all the lovelies who have popped on along to my Facebook page and are supporting this crafty venture....and of course those who have purchased a Jembelina Knit for their precious one(or a friends!). I love that you love the cozy funkiness of Jembelina Knits!!

With a nice serving of comforty, wintery yumminess thrown in for good measure....Why yes, I believe this is going to be a good winter....with some fresh flowers to brighten the days...

Much Love Monday...

2010-05-31T12:58:00.000+10:00

is back and today I am loving....

...that there are no kinder runs to do.
...that all my plants are finally potted and hanging baskets hung.
...my baby sister's blog.
...listening to Zack chat to his Grammy on the phone.
... hearing both boys quote Madagascar and then giggle themselves silly.
...apple crumble and cream.What's to love in your little world???

Oh my....

2010-05-30T13:09:00.001+10:00

...goodness me...I have made my first sale! And I must say Scott and the kids have been very patient with me this morning.....as I happy-danced around the lounge and kept hopping on the computer to look at my now half empty store!
Now it's really time to get busy...using up this stash....

Finishing of these little numbers...
And listing this super girly 'Strawberries & Cream' pair....

OK, here goes...

2010-05-29T16:47:00.000+10:00

....I have been rabbiting on a bit about a big reveal. I'm ready.

As you all know I have pretty much had my hands full to overflowing caring for Miss Evie in and out of hospital, as well as the general running of the household and of course being a good Mummy for my two beautiful boys.

Well, believe it or not, I get the odd moment to myself. When they are all asleep! And quite often in hospital these days, Evie will sleep in the bed - as opposed to in my arms, incase you were wondering! So instead of sleeping myself, I have been knitting up a mini storm. In the shape of funky little pants....all cozy, just in time for winter.

So, here I am...humble little me...about to set up shop.

And I am a bit nervous and very excited. Head on over to my Madeit store and have a gander at my wares!!

I'm almost ready to reveal...

2010-05-24T23:45:00.000+10:00

...a little something that I have been working on over the last couple of months....knit, knit, knit, and knit she did...watch this space...

So, the kids have been pretty wild this weekend....

2010-05-23T18:51:00.000+10:00

....but I'll look past that and focus on the fun we had instead. Think that will require a few photos. Here's what made me smile this weekend......

Leigh's outfit of choice...
Gardening with my boys...
Cute little feet in cute little shoes...
Discovering a fantastic (and family friendly) coffee shop/bookshop...
Gumboots with rainbow knee high socks...
Evie's new friend Tinkerbell...discovered in her late great grandmother's closet...was supposed to be this years Christmas present...
Sweet kisses...
Making Anzac biccies with Leigh...and eating them!
My slow cooker...waiting patiently to make Spag Bol after discovering the meat I had in the fridge was off...nice.
Leigh practicing writing and learning about mixing colours...
Leigh's artistic representation of our Anzac Biccies...
Leigh in a box...

What a funny little weekend we had. One where we couldn't wait till their tired, grumpy little heads hit the pillows.

Sometimes it makes me sad.....

2010-05-21T23:05:00.000+10:00

Today I spent the whole day at RCH. Waiting mostly, with a bit of chemo and blood transfusion to round out the day. Enjoying the one on one time with Evie. Just bobbing along. Not thinking too hard about why we were there......because my baby girl has Cancer. Cancer. On the whole, on a day to day basis, I don't sit around moping about it. I get on with life. I do housework. I do Kinder runs. I cook meals. I watch telly at night. I know she has Cancer. I never forget it for a second. But I don't actually think about it too much. I wonder if that sounds strange to outsiders? Probably. Quite possibly that's not really what I mean. I can't quite put what I do mean exactly into words.

But anyway, the point is, there are times when I do think about it. Hard. And it makes me sad. Utterly and completely sad. For so many reasons. All of which I could never express in one hit. Sometimes I'm only sad for a moment.....usually because I don't let myself dwell on it. I shift my focus. Because if I don't I will end up a blubbering mess, going over and over and over that day. That horrible, horrible day when we first found out. Playing out that moment when I spied the rash on her little arm. Remembering the clothes she was wearing, that I can't bring myself to put on her again. That god-awful feeling when we were led into that room. The hysteria that simply overcame me, over which I had no control. The whirlwind that happened in that tiny room when we arrived at RCH. And more. So much more. So many feelings, none positive. So I stop. I save it for another day.
One day she will ask me you know. And I will sit. And tell her everything she wants to know. Because it is her story. And while it makes me sad. It is special, because it is what makes her life her own. And I will cry.

Mother's Day....

2010-05-09T18:50:00.001+10:00

.....was just lovely. We had no plans. We were going to play it by ear. And we did. By doing nothing in particular. I just enjoyed being a little bit slack, cherishing my babies(and having a little break from Little Miss Steroids), being spoilt with unexpected pressies and gorgeous handmade cards, and going a little bit over budget in the gardening section at Bunnings! And of course...not cooking dinner!

In the last 6 months I have come to hold my babies that little tighter, cherish them so much more and be grateful for every second I get to share with them. I love you my darlings. The minute I knew about each of you I was in love. Thank you for making me the very best Mummy I can be xxx

To my extra special Mummy.....I love you so very much. I miss you every day. I don't know where I would be without you. I cherish every phonecall. I am so grateful that you are you.....wise, clever, tolerant, compassionate, stubborn, creative, strong, emotional. I adore how you are with your grandbabies. God, I just love you!! Thank you for helping me to become the woman I am today.

And something else from today.....Evie's bath time. Her central line means baths are quick and shallow. Besides that she doesn't really like them much lately. And since she had her central line in I don't much like the photos we have taken at bath time. Which is a bit hard to admit actually. But it's the truth. Her line itself doesn't bother me generally. But when I look at bath time photos(of which there are hardly any, which in itself makes me sad) it seems to me like it takes over her whole self. I can't seem to see past it.
But tonight we got some beauties! I like them and I'm going to post them here....because I think that will help me too.

One more thing.....if you havn't already, then today is the day to read this.

Just a quickie....

2010-05-06T21:49:00.000+10:00

...to say....I'm still here. I haven't been blogging lately. I have tried, but to be completely honest my mind keeps drawing a blank every time I sit down to do it. I am tired. Exhausted actually. Evie is on Steroids at the moment as part of her treatment. They make her exceptionally hungry and moody. As a result she is either squawking(literally....sounds like a little seagull!) or eating. Not only solid food...but on the boob all night. And by all night I mean up to 6 feeds from 6pm, then continually from about 11pm till the morning. Yes I said continually. So anyway, that is why I'm tired. And tired is why blogging just hasn't been happening. That and the fact I have been slack taking photos lately and can't be bothered uploading the ones I have taken. And I much prefer a blog post with photos. Don't you?
Oh, and I have been knitting at night too.....I have a little something coming up soonish that I am a bit excited about. I will let you in on it once we are through with this course of steroids and I can think straight again.

God, I love my kids....

2010-04-20T21:38:00.000+10:00

Zack.....serious, super clever, enormous sense of humour, sensitive, careful, clean, thinker...

Leigh....emotional, cuddly, laid back, shy, dives head first, grubby, funny...

Evie.....cheeky, girly, little, social, determined...

They are all just perfect. They are all incredibly brave. They are all unique. They are all beautiful inside and out.

They all make me laugh and cry and worry........and believe in life and love.

My darling babies, I love you so xxx

Chilly Melbourne Mornings....

2010-04-19T22:21:00.000+10:00

....lend themselves rather nicely to snuggly toddlers in cute hats and cheeky little boys blowing bubbles......cheered on by the excited squeals from their baby sister who is just discovering the magic of bubbles.

The weather has been just gorgeous this last week....as if Mother Nature just knew Evie and I needed some warm sunshine on our faces after being in hospital for almost 3 weeks. And we have all been truly soaking it up! Taking little walks in the backyard, passing pegs and hanging lots of washing, drawing with chalk in the driveway....and wearing shorts and t-shirts!

And of course, no sunny afternoon is complete without jumping your little heart out on the trampoline! And calling out........."Watch this cool jump Mummy"...."Mummy! Are you watching me??"

I am completely and utterly loving this stint at home. So full of life. Of laughter and running and jumping and eating and shopping and toddler cuteness and kinder runs and just us.

It's Much Love Monday again....

2010-04-12T20:30:00.000+10:00

Today I love....catching up with an old, very dear friend.
Today I love....taking Evie off her drip to go down to Maccas for dinner with Scott and the boys.
Today I love....having my mobile phone back!
Today I love....facebook.
Today I love....having my engagement ring back from being repaired....bling!

Now.....lovely readers of my humble little blog, please, leave a comment and tell me what you are loving in your life right now?? Even if it's no longer Monday when you read this! And if you like, share the love and share my blog. I forget all the time to remember all the little things that make my days special. I bet I'm not the only one!

I think I'm having creativity withdrawals.....

2010-04-07T19:04:00.000+10:00

I wanna bake cute cupcakes and delicious cheesecakes. I wanna make a fairy garden in the backyard and fill little pots with pretty flowers and herbs on the front porch. I wanna spread my scrapping/card making supplies all over the table and stay up past midnight playing with it all. I wanna plan a themed party. I wanna browse in a good wool shop and come out with a bag full. I wanna get out all the kids craft supplies at once and let them go to town. I wanna sew funky pants for the boys and pretty dresses for Little Miss. I'm a girl and I just wanna have fun. Oh dear....that was bad!

Drying my tears...

2010-04-06T21:32:00.000+10:00

I need to blog. I burst into tears today. Because another family rocked up to share our hospital room. Well not because of that. Because that happened right when I hit the wall. Right when I was trying to keep it together and not burst into tears. Right when, after 10 days and no change in her blood results, I'm feeling a tiny bit frustrated and a big bit home-sick. I locked myself in the toilet and cried. And came out trying to convince myself my red eyes weren't a dead give away. In hindsight, they probably got some other parent through the day, my red eyes. When I see someone else crying around here it helps me remember we are all going through hell pretty much. But because we are Mums and Dads we smile at each other in the hallways. That kinda makes it sound like we are all a bunch of phonies, us cancer parents. We're not. Smiles make the hard stuff a little bit easier. And most of the time, life still happens. And life, a lot of the time has a habit of making you smile.

And then my man, just at the right time, wraps me up in his arms. And just holds me while I cry again, 'cos I just wanna go home! Then I can keep going.

Much Love Monday

2010-04-05T11:41:00.000+10:00

Today I love...jeans and black t shirts.
Today I love...showers in hospital while Miss sleeps.......this is new and rare and sacred!
Today I love...chocolate....left in the sun to go a little bit soft.
Today I love...knowing my boys are running free in the warm sunshine, even though I'm not there to watch it.
Today I love...thinking about the not too distant future and imagining all the things we I will be able to do with my family that we can't right now.

Tell me, what's to love in your life today??

Miss Evie....super star....

2010-04-03T12:45:00.000+11:00

With the Good Friday Appeal on yesterday, it appears Miss Evie has become a little celebrity....
Our local paper - the Diamond Valley Leader
The Herald Sun

And she was on the channel7 news and Sunrise this morning with Daddy saying a few words for the cause. For some reason I can't find the footage online.

Of course......television and newspapers aside.....she is always and forever a super star to us! Little Miss has been in Hospy since we arrived in Emerg. last Sunday afternoon with a sore eye and a temp. The inevitable 'crash' after chemo. One the fever subsided she was back to her normal self. So here we are, spending Easter in hospital with a ridiculously cute baby who seems way too well to be here.

Thankfully the Easter Bunny knows we are here and is making his delivery to the Children's Cancer Centre at RCH instead of home. Whew.

I will be back when I get home with lots of photos!

Happy Easter xxx

Boys Day Out - Grand Prix

2010-03-26T20:14:00.000+11:00

Thanks to The Koala Foundation, Scott and the boys enjoyed a day at the Grand Prix! With corporate lanyards in place, they were fed and watered in the Crown box, with a great view of the track and were treated to some behind the scenes action! The highlight, however, was meeting Roary the Racing Car! I am so grateful to the fantastic organisations that make things like this possible for families living with cancer.

Any old shoe will do!

2010-03-24T15:42:00.000+11:00

Miss Evie is proving to be quite taken with shoes......of any variety. Apparently even your big brothers stinky brown sandals must be tried on....

Much Love Monday

2010-03-22T22:48:00.000+11:00

Today I love...the weather - not too hot, not too cold.
Today I love...gardening.
Today I love...wandering around the shops with no particular purpose.
Today I love...discovering Brothers & Sisters on TV, I thought it was on tomorrow!
Today I love...this cute little hat on Miss Evie!
What are you loving today???

2010-03-21T20:10:00.000+11:00

What a gorgeous day!

Most days around here the boys are up at the crack of dawn. Lucky for me Miss Evie is not and is somewhat reliant on my boobs to sleep. Not necessarily in her mouth. Just somewhere vaguely near her. This means I get to stay in bed 'till a much more humane hour.
This morning, just to spice things up a bit, she sat up - bright eyed and bushy tailed - at 6.30am. It was still dark. I moaned. Then I remembered Camberwell Markets. By far one of my favourite things to do on a Sunday morning. But of course, I rarely do.
So, I pulled the boys money jars down from the kitchen window sill and we tipped them onto the table and counted them out. Daddy discretely added some coins to one pile so they were a bit more even! We tipped out the grown ups money jar too and were pleasantly suprised to find about $20. Everyone got a zip lock back with their name(well, Mummy, Daddy and Evie shared since Mummy generally does all the spending and more often than not baby girl clothes are the order of the day) on it to carry their spending money. There was to be no going into our wallets!
The boys were pretty excited and we all got ready in a hurry and managed to get out the door before 8am. Of course the weather was the opposite to what we expected and were dressed for, but we survived!
The boys spent the contents of their zip lock bags on Lego. Not suprisingly, I came home with clothes for Evie. And a Spot book and Maisy Mouse soft toy. And I had money left over. So we bought chocolate hot cross buns for the trip home.....and ended up with three(yes *gasp* I let Evie have a chocolate hot cross bun) very cute little faces smeared with chocolate.

The sun finally came out on the way home. We took full advantage of the typical windy Autumn day to get heaps of washing done and did a bit of a clean up of the front yard. Leigh took great pleasure in following us around the yard with the green wheelie bin , Evie discovered she can walk around the yard without holding someones hand and Zack, in true five-going-on-fifteen style, stayed inside and played with his Lego in peace.

Decisions, decisions....Zack and Leigh mull over the Lego stall.

My finds :)

Miss Evie and her thong addiction!

Leigh helping us clean up the yard.

Now that is a cute little neck!

The boys wanted mohawks in the shower tonight....funny bunnies.

I have been mulling something over for the last few days. I'm thinking of creating a little Fairy Garden in a corner of our yard. Today's tidying totally motivated me. I will probably wait till after Easter to get started, but I have picked out a spot and can't wait to go shopping(will probably be more like a treasure hunt and will most definitely involve a trip or two to Savers and another Sunday morning spent at the markets) for bits and pieces. So anyway, this is the spot. Looks nothing now obviously...but you just wait!

And the Easter Crafts begin......

2010-03-15T19:34:00.001+11:00

Maximising the little time I will be at home over the next two or three weeks, I grabbed hold of this lovely Monday afternoon and dragged out the craft box - which sadly, has not seen the light of day in a good four or five months. I explained to the boys about pastel colours as I mixed white paint into the bold poster paints we usually use, drew big egg shapes on brown paper and let them go for it. The results now hang proudly on the wall above our dining table.....so the Easter Bunny will see them as soon as he hops through our door!

Four days....

2010-03-08T23:36:00.000+11:00

....at home.

And here is what we did......in no particular order....

Watched the weather radar and waited impatiently for the rain to come. Iced and decorated milk arrowroot biscuits. Rocked out to Guitar Hero and Singstar. Tried out a new fruit and veg shop. Baked banana bread. Made cards for our friends. Went birthday present shopping for Dante and Gypsy. Had take away two nights in a row. Played hide and seek. Dressed Miss Evie up in butterfly wings and rainbow legwarmers. Collected millipedes in bug catchers. Stayed in our pj's or daggies. Cleared wall space for all the new artwork coming home from kinder. Browsed realestate.com and daydreamed about houses too far away. Enjoyed warm cinnamon donuts.

Yes, four days. Four normal days. Special.

Much Love Monday

2010-03-01T18:15:00.001+11:00

A post for sharing the things that make me smile.....today.

Today I love how neat and tidy my hospital room is.
Today I love chocolate Frappes from McDonalds.
Today I love that I got to sit and read to Zack....in peace.
Today I love the messy drawings Leigh and I stuck up on the wall.
Today I love the warmth a Doctor showed me.

What are you loving today???

Lemonade icypoles

2010-02-28T22:35:00.000+11:00

It's 10.30pm and I'm contemplating walking to the other end of the ward and grabbing myself a lemonade icypole from the family fridge. I love lemonade icypoles. They're one of those things though, that I tend to forget that I love. Scott bought them in for me the other day. He thinks I don't appreciate stuff like that, but I do. I really do. Those lemonade icypoles are the most thoughtful thing anyone has done for me in a while. I really should tell him that. In hospital though, we forget to say things. At a time when we really should be making more of an effort to say stuff than we ever have. But we feed children, cuddle babies, buzz nurses.....and forget to talk. We never forget to kiss goodbye though. That kiss says a lot. It says we know we are there for each other, we know it's tough at the moment. That we know tomorrow will be a new day.

Breastfeeding my babies...

2010-02-27T10:31:00.000+11:00

Anyone who knows me well, knows I'm pretty passionate about breastfeeding.

I happily and with relative ease fed my firstborn for 16 months. And felt pretty proud about it to be honest. Without too much thought and no regret or hesitation, I weaned him when I was about 6 months pregnant, truly believing he and I had had enough.
In the coming months I did an awful lot of reading(about breastfeeding by the way!). Anecdotal mostly, and most often incidental. And I continue to do so. I find it interesting and I am always keen to know more. I am fascinated by the sheer perfectness of it. Makes sense, I know.....human milk being perfect for human babies....doesn't cease to make it any less miraculous.....to me anyway.
Number two came along and again we breastfed easily and I loved and cherished every minute. Got Scott to take photos this time! And I had knowledge. And my god, that is by far the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. In any pursuit.....arm yourself with knowledge.....as much as your little being can soak up!
And he fed and fed and fed. And fed all (by all, I mean continuously) through the night right up to 22 months. At which point, pregnant again, I could do it no longer. I was starting to feel resentful towards my own baby - not a place I wanted to be. I so desperately wanted to make it to 2 years, but in the light of day realised that doing so wouldn't be much of an achievement if our breastfeeding relationship was in turmoil. So, reluctantly, I put band aids over my nipples and told him they were sore. And as I should have known, my laid back little person just accepted that, snuggled in and went to sleep.....and I quietly rejoiced that it had been so easy and put my guilt aside.
Number three comes along and breastfeeding just is. No fanfare, no drama. Just normal and natural and perfect like it should be.
Then the bombshell that has become the crazy normality of our life was dropped. And I freaked out. I had images of them(medical staff in general) telling me I would have to stop feeding her. Completely irrational really, but that's what was happening in my head nonetheless. And of course, nothing of the sort happened. The opposite in fact. Our fantastic Nurse Coordinator reinforced to me how wonderful it is and is the very best thing I can be doing for her while she goes through this. I breathed a sigh of relief and let my chest puff with pride once again.
Then we come to today. And the whole reason I started this post in the first place. My dear sweet little baby girl is in pain. Her little throat is a war zone. And she's had precisely two breastfeeds in two days. Minutes before I wrote this it was one. I was in tears. Devastated. Scared. Helpless. I bundled her in my arms, sat in this chair, tears streaming down my face, longing to be sitting on my own couch in my own home, and put her to the breast. And she latched. And had a long feed. And now sleeps in my arms as I type. My faith in our breastfeeding relationship is restored. But I'm still a little bit scared.
But I smile......because as I am about to hit 'publish post' she rummages and stuffs the boob in her mouth again.

And the chemo begins...

2010-02-19T21:45:00.000+11:00

Miss Evie and I have just spent the last four days at RCH. Two in isolation. Four days is a long time. Walking out into the fresh air is something else. The boys little faces when we get home are priceless!
Little Miss started off with hydration(which continued the whole time), then a 24 hour chemo infusion, followed up with multiple blood tests and rescue remedy to help her little body clear the drug efficiently.
To top it off she has had a god awful cough. Since Wednesday night she has been completely flat. So far she has handled chemo pretty well, but this seems to have really knocked her around. 'Tis pretty hard to watch. She just wants to cuddle and sleep all day. Poor little bubba.

And...we are off to do it all over again on Monday..............Or not.......

I think I was writing this on Friday night, maybe Thursday. Anyway, the point is by midnight on Friday I was hopping into the back of an ambulance and heading off to Emerg. Miss Evie had spiked a temp.
She has been so sick. This is by far the sickest she has been. So sleepy. Not playing, barely talking and the most heartbreaking of all....no smiles. Her temp hasn't really gone down.....it did, but she was having panadol.

So by now it is Thursday, almost a week later. And yes, we are still in hospital. Fever has only subsided in the last 24 hours. And she is still completely miserable. I was a complete mess yesterday. To the point where the nurses took her off her drip for a couple of hours so we could escape the ward!
And about an hour ago she went on a morphine drip. Her last dose of chemo has resulted in her little mouth and throat being completely covered in ulcers. Her mouth is mostly better, but her throat is still pretty bad. Poor little thing has been so sad. Hopefully the morphine will help. That was one of the hardest decisions to make. Sounds silly I guess when she's having chemotherapy drugs. But I was so worried I would be giving it to her when she didn't really need it and at the same time worried she was in more pain than I realised and I was doing nothing to take it away - that in itself, as a mother, is a truly horrible thought.
I am completely expecting this to be our longest stay so far. She will be having another dose of the same chemo again on Monday so her mouth will flare up again. The very earliest we will be able to go home will be next Thursday or Friday and that will all depend on her pain, counts and whether she gets another temp or not.
My vice, when I'm in here is food. Not great for the waistline, but certainly helps the boredom and worry. Currently I am finding BBQ shapes particularly good, as well as chocolate frappes from Macca D's. But I'm not fussy! Oh, and as I have just discovered this very minute, the choc mud muffins from Macca D's are very....rich.

I'm finishing this post now, before Little Miss wakes up and I have to save it again. If it doesn't make sense or sound finished.....well, so be it. When my baby girl needs a cuddle, she needs a cuddle NOW. And there is no way in hell I'll deny her that. Not now, not ever.

For me....

2010-02-14T19:58:00.000+11:00

I have been a bit spoilt....Scott picked this up off lay by for me as a surprise when I was in hospital with Evie....and got me the 'I Love You' charm for Valentines Day...Lucky me!

On the needles at the moment....I am loving this wool from the Rustic range at Bendigo Woolen Mills. Has been slow going lately, but I managed to sneak in a bit today while Little Miss slept and the boys played peacefully.....I know, I can hardly believe it either, but it does happen on occasion! We actually had a really lovely, super lazy Sunday today.....nice.

Time to share some photos!

2010-02-13T21:28:00.000+11:00

We have had a big week around here........

Playing with birthday pressies.

Being cute!

Thank you Grammy......Zack got $$ for his birthday and was thrilled to go and pick out his own Lego!

A very simple(but very well received) Lego cake for the Birthday Boy.

Waiting for Miss Evie to wake up from GA.

Racing with Daddy.

A bit more cuteness.

Leigh having a blast zooming down the driveway!

The long haul back up the driveway.

Only to zoom back down again...what fun!

2010-02-11T23:03:00.001+11:00

UPDATE.......we are back home. Turns out her counts weren't where they need to be. Which we found out at 4pm this afternoon. After spending the whole day there. We should have been called last night and told not to come. I am a bit peeved that we wasted a whole day(and a heap of petrol), but happy to be home regardless. Will go back first thing Monday with the intention of getting started pending blood results.

And so it begins...again...

2010-02-10T22:28:00.000+11:00

Evie and I have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.......
Her counts are all where they need to be to go forward with the next round of chemo.
So I will need to fast her from 4am. Which most likely means we'll be up from then.
She's booked in at 8am for a lumbar puncture and bone marrow biopsy - under general anaesthetic, hence the fasting.
Then we will go to Day Oncology where she will start a 24 hour chemotherapy infusion, which will involve us staying overnight on the ward.
And I am doing it all by myself. For the first time. Zack has kinder in the morning so Scott and the boys will drop us off and I wont see them again until they come to pick us up sometime on Friday.
I hope I cope ok with her being put to sleep. I can usually go out get a hug from Scott. I hope she copes ok with such a big dose of chemo.

Five......

2010-02-09T20:35:00.000+11:00

This photo was taken in hospital when Zack was just 4 days old. My whole being had completely changed. Although I don't think I quite realised it yet. I knew I was in love. I knew I had the most spectacularly perfect baby anyone had ever laid eyes on. I knew I felt right at home with this tiny person cradled in my arms. What I didn't know was that he changed me. Words can't quite capture the transformation that takes place when a woman becomes a Mother. And for me, it crept up. I can't remember when, but I realised one day. Realised the sheer magnitude of it. And I never forget it. I live life. Everyday, doing everyday things. But, my god, I am a MUM. Extraordinary. Little old me with three little people to love and grow and love some more.
Feels like it was a lifetime ago, yet just 5 minutes at the same time........and suddenly I have a FIVE year old. A spunky, sometimes cheeky, super clever, addicted to Lego, sensitive little boy who is FIVE. I relished the moment a few days ago, when I was walking behind him and noticed he still has just a hint of chub on his little elbows. A hint of baby still lingering. I regretted that I don't take the camera everywhere and vowed to store it away in my mind.
Happy Birthday my baby boy. I love you.

Showing off my beautiful children.....

2010-02-06T22:14:00.001+11:00

God, I love you Zack! What a gorgeous little guy!! And Leigh in the background....love you too, my funny little guy!

And Miss Evie....what can I say? You're just the funniest, cutest, little thing I ever did meet! Pictured here playing in the rain...and loving every minute of it!

Happy Birthday Daddy!!

2010-02-06T21:42:00.000+11:00

It was Scott's birthday today....Happy Birthday Baby, I love you xxx

Poor guy missed out on his sleep in. Evie just would not be put down. I could have cuddled and walked her around the backyard a billion times. But then there would have been no cake and the house would not have been particularly pretty.

Instead, I had to get him up so he could occupy Little Miss. Which he did with considerable grace and zero complaint........and for that, I am truly grateful as I was feeling mildly guilty!

His little pressie and card were wrapped, written on and given with so much excitement......never ceases to amaze me how kids can be so excited about someone else opening a present, especially when they already know what is inside! Funny!

Then we all waited impatiently for Nanny and Poppy to arrive so we could finally put the candles on the cake and EAT - Choc orange liqueur cheesecake for the grown ups and butterfly cakes for the kids (and kids at heart!).........all made by moi. And they were YUM!

2010-02-05T22:55:00.000+11:00

Yes, I know Zack started kinder yesterday. Yes, I know there are no photos up. Yes, I feel a tiny bit guilty that I am going to rabbit on about Leigh's first day by himself instead. But I'm going to do it anyway!

So, Leigh went for his first session today without me. I was so proud of him. I settled him with an activity and told him "Mummy is going to go now, ok?" Well, I barely got a kiss and cuddle! When I came back an hour later he was sitting right up the front, almost on Lynda's lap! Apparently he didn't stop talking the whole time. Which I have discovered, means we must now be a bit careful about what we say when the kids are in earshot. He told Lynda today that "at our house we do the undie-pants dance". God only knows what she was thinking! Leigh does do such a dance......but he made it up all by himself and I have, in all honesty never taken part!!! I must get some footage of him doing it, quite hysterical actually. Last thing I expected him to bring up at kinder though!
I am so happy for him. So pleased he feels comfortable and confident there.

And today, for quite possibly the first time since Evie was born (I hope not, but I think so) Zack and I spent time together. Just him and me. No distractions. We went to Doughnut King and had hot chocolates and warm cinnamon doughnuts. And we just sat and chatted. Zack thoroughly enjoyed it. He kept smiling at me and saying " I just love this Mummy"
Awwwwww.....I just love you Zack.

2010-02-03T22:10:00.000+11:00

We are continually surprised and overwhelmed by the generosity and support of our friends, family, the hospital community, and our local community.
Today was no exception. I opened a letter today, from the boys kinder. Before I got halfway through I was in tears. Happy tears. They were writing to tell us that they are waiving all the kinder fees for both boys. What a load off our shoulders. We are so relieved and grateful.

We had a busy, but pretty great day today. First off we headed to RCH so Miss Evie could have a finger prick (brave chook didn't even cry) and see Dr.Heath. Everything going well there, aiming to kick her next round off with a bone marrow biopsy and lumbar puncture next Thursday. Until then we are (hopefully) free agents! Oh, and she had a dressing change too...once again, no tears.
Then we headed to kinder for Zack's first day of 4yo kinder(aka big boys kinder). We found his new bag hook, put on a name tag...and clung to my hand! Only took about 10 seconds of convincing to get him into doing a painting and he was fine. I took a quick photo(which I will share tomorrow night when the camera is charged) and left while the going was good.
In the meantime, the rest of us cruised around the Plaza in air conditioned comfort!
Upon my return 2.5 hours later Zack was beaming!! I was so pleased. I can always tell as soon as I see him if he has truly had a good time...and he had. Made my day!
Get home, boys get stuck into Lego. I hover around avoiding making a decision about dinner. End up plonking myself on the couch in front of the aircon and feeding Miss Evie. Decide to have a little look at her Central Line site......uh oh. Oooze. Heave a huge sigh. Get up and call Day Onc. I need to bring her back in so they can change the dressing again and take swabs. It is 4.30pm. So quickly get changed, finish cutting up some pineapple and off I go with Evie.
It is still bloody hot outside and the stupid aircon in our car isn't fantastic so we swelter the whole way there. Get up to Day Onc, have a cold drink and enjoy the coolness while we wait for Sandy to have a look at her site. Doesn't think it looks anything to worry about.....except......the 'cuff'(the part of her line that is supposed to be inside her) is poking out a tiny bit. Not a disaster, not brilliant either. Fresh dressing and some heavier duty tape. Instructions to keep and eye on it. Good to go.
Again, swelter the whole way home - 6.45pm.

And just to make things interesting and completely non relaxing - Zack vomits all down the side of the bunk and on Leigh! And the curtains. Nice.

Did I say we had a good day today? Oh no, that's right, I said great. I think what I actually meant was HECTIC! But it was good actually.We got through all the drama in one piece. We had a happy day today.

Leigh's first day at 3yo kinder!

2010-02-02T22:48:00.001+11:00

And what a great day it was! After an early morning dress rehearsal with the all important Mr Men backpack, we finally headed off for a 2.45pm start. Parents stayed for the hour long session, just to introduce the kids to kinder gently. Leigh was very quiet, but had a great time with cars, blocks, peg boards and the sandpit. He found his voice when he wanted to show Geralyn something in the sandpit. Much to my surprise, he shuffled up the front for story time and asked Lynda to help him take off his name tag. We are counting the 3 sleeps 'till the next session on Friday.....when he goes all by himself!

Having a minor technological blip so photos will be in a seperate post....don't ask! Hopefully I will have it sorted by tomorrow night, when I will be reporting on Zack's first day!

On a side note.....I am loving the collages, what a great tool for showing off lots of photos....thank you Picasa and Helen at Ensparkle Ceramics for letting me in on this nifty little piece of technology!

Leigh's first day at 3yo kinder!

2010-02-02T22:31:00.000+11:00

Dancin' in the Summer rain..........

2010-01-31T22:14:00.000+11:00

What's for dinner?

2010-01-31T15:48:00.000+11:00

Tonight we are having....

Teriyaki chicken drumsticks
Corn on the cob
Garden salad

Yum, yum, yum.......

Knit, knit, knit, and knit she did....

2010-01-30T20:57:00.000+11:00

'Down by the Swamp' and 'Riddip' newborn pants - halfway finished.

'Candy Srtipes' newborn pants - just getting started.

I am thoroughly enjoying knitting up these tiny little pants! Problem is, I get halfway through and can't help but start on the next pair. Too many gorgeous colours to play with!

2010-01-30T00:27:00.000+11:00

I missed Friday night!!

I was just about to post about Friday nights and I look at the clock and it's 12.30am!

What is it about Friday night? In those long forgotten childless days, Friday nights signified the end of the working week(although I don't really know why, I always worked weekends anyway). A sense of freedom. A knowing that something utterly relaxing was going to take place sometime in the next two days.

Now, 3 kids later and let me tell you the working week never ends....I am on a merry-go-round people! And freedom? Relaxation? I'm surprised I remember how to spell those words.

But somehow, Friday night rolls around and still Scott and I get the kids to bed and breathe a sigh of relief and still breathe the "thank god it's Friday' mantra and fall on the couch prepared to vegetate. For some reason we always stay up later on Friday nights as if we might be able to sleep in tomorrow. Mind you, Saturday morning cartoons do run till 7.30am, so it's a bit of a sleep in. If you can really call it sleep with a 13 month old attached to your boob.

This particular Friday night however, Miss Evie decides it might be a fun game to trick Mummy and Daddy. By falling into a beautiful sleep at 6.30pm. And then waking again at 7.15pm.....with her cute pants on. Like, I mean, can't ignore it, can't will it back to sleep cute pants.
So, there's our Friday night out the window. But hell, we have a cute baby. A cute baby that TOOK STEPS tonight all by herself!! Scott claims she has taken the odd step or two....but since I'm the Mummy and I wasn't there to witness the event I refuse to believe it's true. So for the record, on Friday 29th January 2010 and just 13 months old, Miss Evie took her first steps............

And held out 'till the end of the movie before finally falling asleep on the boob at 10.30pm.

2010-01-27T19:16:00.000+11:00

As I type this Scott is driving around the block with Miss Evie - it is taking much longer than normal, so my guess is she will be awake and crying when he gets back. I am also trying my very best to ignore the fact that the boys are shrieking rather than falling asleep. Every now and then I'll shout out for them to "Shoosh!" but anything more than that would require me getting up from my chair and at this point it just ain't gunna happen!

We shared some freedom today, Scott and I. This freedom I speak of is a rarity. Today it involved going shopping minus two of our children. We were like kids in a candy shop! Didn't know what to do first! We ate and drank purely to experience doing so in relative peace!
The purpose of our little adventure was to get Zack's birthday present. Who knew the world of Lego could be so confusing!! We came out with a fire station, dump truck and 4wheel drive with horse float - which will hopefully put a huge smile on his little dial!
Our little outing came courtesy of Aunty Shell who looked after Zack and Leigh...after dying my hair(thank you, I feel like a new woman) and cutting theirs - two very spunky little monkeys I have!

So.....Evie is still awake, the boys are quiet, but not yet asleep. Soon, very soon, our house will be peaceful....and I can KNIT!

2010-01-26T23:12:00.000+11:00

I'm not really in the mood for constructing well thought out sentences tonight, but I do feel like saying a few things, so I will keep it very simple!

1.We now have a mini supply of WhispaGold choccie bars...yay!
2.Krispy Kreme doughnuts are yummy, yummy, yummy....but probably not quite worth what we spent on them.
3. It is after 11pm and all three kids have not long gone to sleep.
4.Chadstone Shopping Centre is ridiculously big, a little bit snobby and still stirs up lots of memories.
5.Zack and Leigh were not remotely interested in seeing the house Mummy and Daddy used to live in.
6.Sanity was saved tonight by going grocery shopping at 8pm with the whole tribe. Note to self- taking Scott with me is more work than going alone with three kids.
7.It is Australia Day today. No different to any other day for us really.
8.Grocery shopping consisted of a trolley almost full of snacky type stuff I would never normally buy in an attempt to quash constant demands for food every time we step foot in the hospital.

And finally.....knit, knit, knit......I am on a roll. Managed to finish off one pair of little pants, get halfway through another and start one more pair. Using up all the wool I have before I go silly buying any more. The pair I am halfway through have turned out so much better than I imagined. I had some green wool....not sure why I have it, green isn't really my first choice. Figured I may as well knit it up. Did some funky stripes and added a hint of natural...they look great. I am so pleased with them!

Miss Evie is doing well after her chemo yesterday. Was a very long day as she had to have hydration before and after, so we got there at about 8/8.30am and left and 6.30pm. Everyone was exceptionally well behaved! We will head in again on Wednesday(hopefully not before!) to see Dr.Heath and find out what her counts are doing. Once they bottom out and recover we can head into the next round.

Toilet training, birthday cakes and a mini ramble...

2010-01-24T22:25:00.000+11:00

Ok....first off....Leigh did poo on the toilet tonight and tried to wipe his own bottom!! This is pretty much the most exciting thing that has happened in our house for a while! Now, he has been weeing on the loo for a good couple of weeks which is great, but trying to convince him that the toilet is a perfectly good place to be doing poo is another story!

Until I bribed him....with food. Not my finest Mummy moment. But it worked. Now he's going to want a YumYum Ball everytime he does a poo...oops!

Apart from that I am feeling incredibly guilty about Zack's birthday cake. He had his little heart set on a Lego man cake. And I had my heart set on making it. Part of being a Mummy to little people is making incredible, increasingly difficult, homemade cakes. Cakes that light up their whole face when they finally lay eyes on it. Cakes that are looked forward to every year. Cakes that I stay up till 2am perfecting and thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. Cakes you don't want to cut up but you truly don't mind if the recipient goes to town with their fingers.

Not this year. Not for my big boys 5th birthday. No, this year our baby girl has Leukaemia. This year I could very well be in hospital with her. Stupid Leukaemia.

I know in the whole scheme of things this is such a little thing. Not really a big deal. He'll have a great birthday regardless of where the cake comes from. As long as we are all together. I should be grateful Evie is doing so well. I am.

Still upsets me though. Still makes us realise that it kinda feels like our life is on hold even though this is our life right now. Still makes me feel like I'm missing out on the simple things, the little things. I can't remember the last time I took the kids to the park. I can't remember the last time I sat and had a baby chino with them. I can't remember the last time I spent a day alone with my three babies. And right now I feel like crying. I miss being a stay at home mum. I know I still am. But it is so far from the same it's just not funny.

Anyway, I am completely off track and rambling! So, here I am feeling guilty about Zack's cake. I decide I will chat to him about. After I look into his completely disappointed eyes, we get online and search for a bought cake that might come even vaguely close to the homemade image we both had in mind.
Ta-da...we come across Ferguson Plarre. And by some miracle they have cakes on which you can put any image your little heart desires. So we head off to the Lego website and hunt around. We end up with a great looking cake that Zack is super excited about and I am feeling a tiny bit less guilty about.

This Mummy gig is tough. But oh so worth it. I love my babies.....even when I walk into their bedroom to find and entire bottle of water over the floor......squirted in a fit of giggles off the top bunk. I send them both outside.....while I have a good laugh and decide I'm not going to punish them. I know they know they shouldn't have done it...but sometimes, when you're little(and even when your big) you just get carried away. Bad mummy moment?? Nah.

2010-01-23T20:12:00.000+11:00

Blood transfusion for Miss Evie today...she is looking significantly pinker and is somewhat happier than she has been for a couple of days. Still having a decent amount of good old fashioned princess moments though!
It was so quiet up in Day Onc today, which is most unusual. Evie and I spent 2 hours sleeping while Scott and the boys played in the playroom. By some miracle we were home by 4.30pm and the boys didn't fall asleep! If you're wondering why them not falling asleep is a good thing, allow me to explain. Any sleep during the day, particularly late in the arvo, undoubtedly results in two very grumpy little people who call out and carry on don't fall asleep 'till after 9pm - no thanks!

I have been managing to get little bits of knitting done in the car the last couple of days and I am halfway through the pants I am doing. They are going to be so cute and little. About to get stuck back into it tonight, might even get them finished.

2010-01-23T17:54:00.001+11:00

Poo....glorious poo.....oh, the joys of toilet training!!!!

Simply devine...the dress and the baby!!

2010-01-22T21:53:00.000+11:00