Friday, February 19, 2010

And the chemo begins...

Miss Evie and I have just spent the last four days at RCH. Two in isolation. Four days is a long time. Walking out into the fresh air is something else. The boys little faces when we get home are priceless!
Little Miss started off with hydration(which continued the whole time), then a 24 hour chemo infusion, followed up with multiple blood tests and rescue remedy to help her little body clear the drug efficiently.
To top it off she has had a god awful cough. Since Wednesday night she has been completely flat. So far she has handled chemo pretty well, but this seems to have really knocked her around. 'Tis pretty hard to watch. She just wants to cuddle and sleep all day. Poor little bubba.

And...we are off to do it all over again on Monday..............Or not.......

I think I was writing this on Friday night, maybe Thursday. Anyway, the point is by midnight on Friday I was hopping into the back of an ambulance and heading off to Emerg. Miss Evie had spiked a temp.
She has been so sick. This is by far the sickest she has been. So sleepy. Not playing, barely talking and the most heartbreaking of smiles. Her temp hasn't really gone did, but she was having panadol.

So by now it is Thursday, almost a week later. And yes, we are still in hospital. Fever has only subsided in the last 24 hours. And she is still completely miserable. I was a complete mess yesterday. To the point where the nurses took her off her drip for a couple of hours so we could escape the ward!
And about an hour ago she went on a morphine drip. Her last dose of chemo has resulted in her little mouth and throat being completely covered in ulcers. Her mouth is mostly better, but her throat is still pretty bad. Poor little thing has been so sad. Hopefully the morphine will help. That was one of the hardest decisions to make. Sounds silly I guess when she's having chemotherapy drugs. But I was so worried I would be giving it to her when she didn't really need it and at the same time worried she was in more pain than I realised and I was doing nothing to take it away - that in itself, as a mother, is a truly horrible thought.
I am completely expecting this to be our longest stay so far. She will be having another dose of the same chemo again on Monday so her mouth will flare up again. The very earliest we will be able to go home will be next Thursday or Friday and that will all depend on her pain, counts and whether she gets another temp or not.
My vice, when I'm in here is food. Not great for the waistline, but certainly helps the boredom and worry. Currently I am finding BBQ shapes particularly good, as well as chocolate frappes from Macca D's. But I'm not fussy! Oh, and as I have just discovered this very minute, the choc mud muffins from Macca D's are

I'm finishing this post now, before Little Miss wakes up and I have to save it again. If it doesn't make sense or sound finished.....well, so be it. When my baby girl needs a cuddle, she needs a cuddle NOW. And there is no way in hell I'll deny her that. Not now, not ever.

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