Tuesday, October 4, 2011
My life is not the normal I once imagined it would be. It seems normal. I do plenty of normal stuff. I went grocery shopping just this morning in fact. I even cooked dinner tonight and hung a load of washing on the line.
But four nights a week I give my baby girl chemo. It's not like giving her chemo is the only time I think about this cross of mine. I bear it every minute of every day. I can look beyond it though. My life, her life is about so much more than just this. There is no way I will ever let cancer define our lives....and I hope Miss Evie never lets it define hers.
So the giving of chemo is kinda just part of our weekly to do list, no big deal in itself. But sometimes, like tonight.....I walk past the kitchen bench and see it sitting there waiting to be given. And it takes me somewhere. Somewhere where I think about stuff. Where cancer is my whole existence. Thankfully, I'm only there for a little while....just long enough to acknowledge. To accept. To move on.