Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Evie's story. My story. Our story.

This is something I have been wanting to do for a long time. It is a hard thing to do and I'm not sure how ready I am. Regardless, tonight is the night I felt inspired to start....I invite you to read along and travel this difficult road with me and thank you for taking the time to do so. ANd for those who are new to my blog, this story I am beginning tonight...this is the story of my darling baby girl and how the word cancer has become a reality in our family.

How am I supposed to start this story? I have no clue. Because the reality is, I still can’t quite fathom that the story belongs to me. To my child. To my family. I wonder, will it always feel this way? Will it forever be so raw? I think I want it to be. I cannot relive the memories of that very first day without feeling like I am right back there. Without feeling my heart in my throat. For that very reason, I rarely allow myself to go there. But when I do……it is completely and utterly gut wrenching…….when I do, I want it to be that real. It is a terrible reality, but how can I let it fade? I can’t. It is my reality whether I like it or not. I don’t want it. But I’ve got it. It’s mine. And it will forever live in the treasure box in my heart. And I will open it when my heart can handle it.

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